6 months

[xp_daredevil]

I met with my therapist today and got my 6th months sober token. I've gotten one every month since I stopped using again. It's been harder recently, the past two weeks or so, but I'm determined to stay clean. I thought the holidays would be hardest, but they weren't so bad. Good and bad days are normal, I've got to remember that. And one bad day, or even a series of bad days, doesn't mean it won't get better.

I don't know if the picture came out, but I tried to take it with my phone. Hopefully you all can see it.

Comments

[x-skin.livejournal.com]

Good for you, kid. And the picture came out perfect.

[x-daredevil.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

I was really worried the picture would be of my foot or something ridiculous, but my therapist helped me do it.

[x-dagger.livejournal.com]

Good Job buddy

[x-daredevil.livejournal.com]

thanks Randy :P

[x-artie.livejournal.com]

Dude, it can't be that hard, right?

Can't you just like, wank more or take some xanaxes whenever you want to go use illegal drugs?

[x-daredevil.livejournal.com]

You can't trade one addiction for another, dude. So no Xanax. That's how all this started - I got addicted to legal prescription drugs.

I go to the gym a lot, gives me a new focus for my energy.

[x-artie.livejournal.com]

But they come from a doctor. That means that you won't give you enough to get addicted to them, right? It's like, here's your two for the week.

[x-daredevil.livejournal.com]

what part of "I got addicted to prescription pills my doctor gave me" did you not get?

[x-artie.livejournal.com]

But if they're monitering it and know that you could get hooked, it should be fine, right? It's insane that you're not allowed to have anything when you'd think they'd just dole it out at doses low enough to make sure that you don't get hooked again.

[x-daredevil.livejournal.com]

Still, no. First, now that I've been addicted, my body responds psychologically and physiologically to some meds and things. And secondly, because my body is acclimated to those meds, it doesn't respond unless the dosage is high enough. That's part of why people can OD.

There are a lot of meds that people go on that they cannot stop cold turkey, but have to be weaned off and whatnot.

I would rather avoid any medications that I might get addicted to.

[x-artie.livejournal.com]

Fair enough.

That does kind of suck.

[x-daredevil.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it does.

Whether it happened intentionally or on accident or whatever, I still have to live with it the rest of my life.

[x-artie.livejournal.com]

You don't get some sort of pass because you were using stuff for what was it, incredible migraines or whatever?

I mean, you weren't just trying to get stoned all the time.

[x-daredevil.livejournal.com]

Nope. At the core of it, addiction is addiction. I don't think ANYONE wants to become an addict, but when it happens, regardless of why, it's all the same.

[x-artie.livejournal.com]

So, let me just see if I have this straight - you can get addicted to something say, because you have to use it because maybe you're in stupid amounts of pain or whatever

but,

because you're addicted to it, you're never allowed to get medical treatment for anything that might also involve say, pain medication for your actual pain again?

Dude, that's the most incredibly freaking stupid thing I've ever heard.

[x-daredevil.livejournal.com]

No, not quite.

I can get medical treatment for pain and whatnot with pain meds, if I needed it and it was monitored by a doctor. Right now, I'd prefer not to and don't need it.

That's not what you said above though - you said I should take Xanax, which is an anti-anxiety medication and not something I need to take right now because part of going to therapy and all that is to learn non-medicinal ways to deal with these things if possible.

I am still more susceptible to accidentally becoming addicted to something again though and I don't want that to happen. Maybe when I get my 5 year medallion it'll be different, but right now, this is what's best.

[x-artie.livejournal.com]

Okay. I think I get it now.

[x-weaponx.livejournal.com]

Good job, kid.

Nice coin too.

[x-daredevil.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I've got them for the other months too, but 6 kinda snuck up on me.

I cannot wait to get my 1year again.

[x-adrienne.livejournal.com]

Congratulations. And very wise thoughts.

[x-daredevil.livejournal.com]

thanks. I'm trying.

[x-invisiblegirl.livejournal.com]

Way to go Matt.

[x-daredevil.livejournal.com]

thanks!

[xp_daytripper]

Well done, Matt. You're doing good.

[x-daredevil.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Amanda.